Monday, 1 June 2015

A is for Authoritative, Assertive Men ...

... Just the type of man I like!

Welcome to my blog, and for the first post of the June Challenge - Spanking A-Z

So what makes a man authoritative and why is it so attractive? Well, for some, I guess it's not. And if you fit that opinion, this blog post is not for you. But for me, an authoritative man is seriously sexy. Just that air of authority, exuding masculinity, oozing assertiveness, to me is so hot. He doesn't even have to be good-looking to be attractive; he already is. And if he's drop-dead gorgeous to boot, that's even better.

For a man to be authoritative, he's got to look the part. He needs to look tough, but be kind. He needs to be masculine, but a gentleman. And he needs to look manly, not be a pretty boy. He also needs to be big. Not obese big, (not that I have anything against obese people, my best friends are large, and I love them to bits) but I mean tall, broad shouldered, a strong frame; the kind of man who doesn't look like he will snap in half when he's throwing my 5'8" 65kg body over his shoulder. He needs to be capable of manhandling me. Not in a rough way, not to hurt me. But to assert his authority.

So I've been doing some research on the perfect, authoritative man. And they seem to be few and far between. I mean, there's my husband, but I don't share him. He's mine. 

Where better to start my research than with Glamour magazine's 100 sexiest men? There's bound to be some authoritative men in that lot, right? Wrong. I have to say, not very many of them are in the least bit sexy. And even fewer of them look authoritative. Most of them are pretty boys, not manly men. And what is it with facial hair? I'm all for a bit of facial hair, it definitely has it's place. A bit of stubble on a strong, square jawline is hot. But on some men, it just looks wrong. Some men, authoritative, assertive ones, wear facial hair well. It gives them dangerous edge that is seriously sexy. But when pretty boys do it, it just doesn't work. It makes them look like they're playing at being commanding, and doing a really bad job of it. If one of those guys tried to order me around I'd laugh at him.

I asked a vanilla friend to describe to me her version of an authoritative man. "Christian Grey," she told me. I haven't seen the movie, but I've read the trilogy. So we'll go with that. Coincidentally (or maybe not), Jamie Dornan got the number 1 spot on Glamour's list. Is he really that sexy? I've certainly never thought so. I don't know that he really fits my ideal of "authoritative" either. In my opinion, Charlie Hunnam, at spot number 15, would have made a much better Christian Grey. He's edgy, dangerous, sexy, and very authoritative. I fell in love with him on Sons of Anarchy and more than once I wanted to jump into the telly so he could give me a spanking. 

Actually, Chris Hemsworth, at spot number 13, would have made an excellent Christian Grey as well, although as far as I know, he was never in the running. I was in my late teens when I fell in love with him on Home and Away and I wanted him to spank me too ... this was back in the days when there wasn't a soul in the world who knew I was kinky, so I kept that little fantasy to myself.

It was the readers of Glamour who picked these un-authoritative men to be the world's sexiest. I don't read the magazine, therefore I didn't do the poll, so I guess I can't really complain that I don't agree with their choice. But the results do beg the question. Do most women secretly like authoritative men too? And that's why they voted for Jamie Dornan - because he played Christian Grey - who, to many vanilla women, is the epitome of authoritative man?  I don't know. But I do know that when searching for pictures of sexy men to inspire my heroes, those authoritative men who exude just what I'm looking for, I'll be avoiding looking on Glamour's list and I'll stick to Pinterest.

Thanks so much for visiting my blog! 

I'll leave you with (just one, I've got many!) the epitome of the authoritative, assertive man: Tim Daly as good looking gunslinger Johnny Gault in The Outsider. A man who, despite being my mother's age now (and therefore getting into the ewwww department) was once pretty hot, and should have been on Glamour's list, 20 years ago or so.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on authoritative men, and whether or not Glamour readers got it right with the world's sexiest men!

And here's the list of the other participants, please check some of them out!


  1. Loved this Kelly. An authorative man is so sexy and hot :)


  2. I adore authoritative men and cowboy books, shows, and movies are filled with them!!

    1. I think that's probably why I love cowboy movies/books so much :)